Feedback Needed On This Story #2 (Warning: Extremely Sad)

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Feedback Needed On This Story #2 (Warning: Extremely Sad)

Post by Minty Kitty on Thu Mar 07, 2013 2:12 pm


Story Thus Far:

The moment Nanaka was born, they realized she had abnormal magical abilities and that they were far to strong. Despite this, her parents still took her in and swore to properly raise her. No matter what, they would protect her. The Elder made them swear that on her 5th birthday, they would send her to her, in order to be told the truth. They agreed to this, and took her home. Then, her life had begun, but her parents knew it wouldnt be an easy one.

Although her father was a human male, brought into the village by her mother, he wasnt oblivious to Kitsune customs. And he had been with the village long enough to be used to everything. So when Nanaka came home everyday, with her face all red, looking like she was crying, he would ask her "Whats wrong Nanaka?"...she just would answer "Nothing...im fine daddy."...and she would go to her room. But he knew something was up, Nanaka wasnt the type to cry for no reason. And it was obvious when she had been crying, as she wasnt a very good lier. But both her parents were very concerned, as her behavior at home started changing as well...

When she was around 5 years old, she was asked to visit the Elders house as sworn by her parents. The elder was a strong and beautiful Kitsune. Despite her age, she was extremely young looking and had of course, 9 tails. And she was said to be the most powerful Kitsune that existed except for her Mother. When she arrived at the Elders House, she was told to enter, so she did. And when she sat down before the elder. She just stared at Nanaka with a sad but serious look on her face. She herself could also tell the pain she had been going through, the pain of being alone. SHe then opened her mouth and said "Nanaka...you have a very special gift...did you know that?"...she was baffled and didnt know this...so she just shook her head and said "No...i dont think im special at all...". The elder then just closed her eyes and shook her head in return to that statement...then said "I know that your in pain...and that you feel alone. I know you cry everyday because your alone and everyone avoids you..I als--" Nanaka then interupted her quite abruptely saying "Thats not true! I have lots of friends! I hang with them almost everyd...--" The Elder then interupted her in return and just shook her head "I know thats not true...your hurting inside...its ok...you dont have to hold it in..."...Nanaka began to have tears fall from her face...she then started to cry...the Elder got up and walked over to her and kneeled down...pulling her to her chest as she held her...Nanaka's crying became more hysteric...and she was letting out all the pain and sorrow she had been holding in all this time. It was soon after she calmed down that the Elder explained that Nanaka's Magical Abilities were far stronger then the other Kitsune of her age, her Magical Abilities even surpassed that of most of the adults. Thats why people avoided her...they were afraid. It was said that the last time this happened, where a Kitsune child was born with abnormally High Magical Abilities, the child went berserk because she couldnt control her abilities...and the entire village was wiped out. Nanaka's eyes widened at the story...then she began to shake...wondering if that could happen to her...the elder then smiled and said "Dont worry, thats why i said you have a gift...your abnormally high Magical Abilties dont seem to be any close to seeping out of you...you seem to be in complete control of them. That is why we are going to have you learn to control your abilities. We are going to teach you how to harness the potential inside you so you can learn to do things you never thought you could. Nanaka was baffled...then she just said "But...arent i too young?" The Elder shook her head..."Normally you would be...we normally dont start teaching Kitsune how to use their abilities until their 10. But your a special case. You will begin practice and study next week. Nanaka just nodded her head...she then thought to herself *I want to learn how to control my abilities...i dont wanna hurt anyone...and...i dont want to be alone anymore...*

1 week later, her lessons began. It was rough, her instructor was very nice and beautiful, but she was tough...but had a nice side to her. Around a year later...she had shown the most potential out of anyone who'd been taught in their village. She had learned how to do this so quickly, it baffled her teacher and the Elder. Eventually, her training ended after 2 years. She was now 7 years old, about to be 8. Her 8th birthday would celebrate the last day of her training, and as a Kitsune who could fully control her what seemed to be limitless potential. But on her 8th birthday..when she went to school...things got...bad. She was having a normal day...no one was talking to her...she did her work and was about to go home...but she was stopped by a bunch of other Kitsune. They all started pushing her around...saying hurtful things...like "You think your so special just cause you got training early?! You think your better then us just cause the elder took a liking to you?! Your Nothing!". They said these things as they pushed her around and kicked her to the ground over and over. Several times in her head, she thought of fighting back...but the elder and her mother told her to never use her powers against other Kitsune...especially other kids....so she clenched her fist and withstood the pain....but the pain was horrible...even if she tried to withstand it...it hurt...more then anything else she'd ever experienced. But she still didnt fight back..eventually it started to rain...the kids got tired and left...She was covered in bruises...scratches and was bleeding in some places....she just got up...and walked home...thinking about how she was going to explain it to her family.

5 more years past, she hadent made a single friend even though she learned to control and harness her abilities. The whole village knew about this, but the kids at her school still treated her like dirt. And whenever another adult Kitsune talked to her if she was out in the market...or if she was just walking home...she would ignore them or respond calisly...she hated all the attention. She didnt want to be special...she wanted to be normal. By this time, a Kitsune was learning about the rituals of finding a Human male and mating with them. Of course, it wasnt encouraged they do this at their age, as they were all only around 13 years old. But they were taught it, and were advised to wait till they were at least 15 or 16. She didnt pay much attention to this...she just didnt care. At the age of 13, it was said to be the time where Kitsune's were starting to get sexual urges...a lot of the kids in her school had already started touching themselves when they were alone...or they would constantly talk about their future with a man. But for some reason, Nanaka wasnt affected by these "Urges"...and she didnt partake in these conversations. She just didnt feel the need. When she was one day asked to go to the school nurse, she was greeted with the question "Nanaka...have you gotten any urges yet? Any sexual urges?"...she just replied with "No...none". The Nurse looked worried...so she sent her to the Elder. The Elder was suprised by this...but had a possible explanation. "It could be, all ur Spiritual Energy inside you is blocking the urges, and since you've learned to control ur abilities, you are controlling ur urges as well, i've heard you dont pay attention in the class that teaches this stuff. Are you not interested in finding a man in the future and having a family?"...she shook her head.."Its not that i dont want to have a family...its just...I dont care right now..."...the elder looked at her then said "The kids are still ignoring you and are hurting you still...arent they..."...she then just nodded softly and small tears fell down her cheeks. The Elder then walked over and held her again...Nanaka...was used to this feeling. The feeling of a mother holding their child...although the Elder wasnt really her mother...she treated Nanaka as her own. And it made her feel at peace and calm whenever she held her like this...after a while she had cried herself to sleep...and the Elder personally carried her back to her home...

About a year later...Nanaka's life was turned upside down. On a peaceful day, one like all the others. The Village was attacked, by a human army. At first, the Kitsune villagers tried to talking with the humans...but they were ruthless and just killed them. Then they proceeded to burn down the entire village...building after building...slaughtering the villagers...even the children. Bodies were literred everywhere..Blood was spilled on the ground like it was part of the village to begin with. The Humans eventually got to her house...she ran inside from school and her parents grabbed her as soon as she got home...they ran upstairs and hid in a single room. They then heard the front door being kicked down. Her paents panicked and opened a hidden floor under the room, and they put Nanaka and her sister in it...her mother then said "Sweeties...dont leave this room and do not make a sound...when we leave the room...i want you two to follow the path behind u and get out of here...Find another village and tell them what happened...you MUST do this for us...I love you both so much.." She then wrapped them both in a tight hug while crying...she then closed the hatch and they left the room...As they waited a bit..it got quiet...as they were about to leave...the door to the room got kicked open. And 1 of the humans was standing there with a blood stained sword. He spotted the room as Nanaka had started crying slightly...her sister then pushed her back and told her "Get out of here Nana...follow the path like mom said...i know you can do it...you'll be fine..." She then gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.."I love you my adorable little sister..." She then leaped out of the hatch and closed it behind her quickly...she then led the human out the room...as Nanaka started crying...she escaped out of the village...as she turned back...all she could see were flames and all she could hear was screaming....She cried louder and turned and ran away.

About 2 months have passed since this incident...she is all alone in the giant world...she doesnt know where to find the other villages like her mother wanted her to. She has stumbled across other Monster Girl villages...but not a Kitsune one. But in each one she passed, they were quite welcoming...and sympathetic. They all had heard what happened. No one in the Country hadent heard what happened to the Kitsune Village in the north. And that only 1 person survived. When she stumbled across the villages...they welcomed her..gave her shelter for the night...and fed her. Gave her warmth. Some of them even offered her to stay with them and live her life there. But she just repeated what she always said "...Thank you...but i cant, i need to fufil my mothers wish and the task she gave me..." She would then bow and leave...with food and water and clothing that the villages had given her. But at one point while she was bathing in a lake..her clothing, food and water was stolen from her. She now has nothing...only the food she gets from the surroundings...the animals she hunts and kills...The Water she gathers from the springs she finds...she wanders the lands searching for any Kitsune village...in order to tell them...that a war...has begun...a war...between the humans...and the Mamono...just like 200 years ago...

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Re: Feedback Needed On This Story #2 (Warning: Extremely Sad)

Post by InfinitasImpetum on Thu Mar 07, 2013 2:19 pm

are trying to make the members cry here. XD

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Re: Feedback Needed On This Story #2 (Warning: Extremely Sad)

Post by Guest on Thu Mar 07, 2013 2:21 pm

This brought a tear to my eye. Beautiful work.

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Re: Feedback Needed On This Story #2 (Warning: Extremely Sad)

Post by mangak (GONE) on Thu Mar 07, 2013 3:28 pm

... who can ban an admin for making it's member cry?
Spoiler:
(ok, so technically speaking i can, but let's put me out of this)

...someone should do something about those depressing posts...

we need GENKI posts!!! no tears...at least not from sadness!! depressing

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Re: Feedback Needed On This Story #2 (Warning: Extremely Sad)

Post by Guest on Thu Mar 07, 2013 4:39 pm

We need to have an author's section if all these stories shows up.

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Re: Feedback Needed On This Story #2 (Warning: Extremely Sad)

Post by Guest on Sun Mar 10, 2013 12:30 pm

do you do the artworks for your stories b/c they are really good
and just curious but what are their magical abilities?

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Re: Feedback Needed On This Story #2 (Warning: Extremely Sad)

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